I Am Thankful

I printed off Thanksgiving planner pages today. Yes, I’m that girl. I have a paper planner, and I love it. I tried to go digital for a few years, and it just didn’t work for me. I’m a hand to paper to memory person. I don’t learn it unless I see it, hear it, write it down, and see it again. Learning about the way I learn has been of immense value to how I function in day to day life. My paper planner brings me some sense of calm. And it also plays to my creative side because I have assigned different colored pens to different family members and I use stickers like a second grader. The more stickers, the better the page. I’m here for all the stickers.

So I printed off five pages this morning to insert into my planner; pages designed to help me plan and coordinate our Thanksgiving meal. There’s a guest list, a menu page, a prep list, a recipe list, and a cooking schedule. I’m fully aware of my nerdiness when I explain the delight I had in laying these pages out in a way that felt efficient and sensical.

I immediately started running the numbers. Who’s coming, how much turkey do I allot to their kids, and what sides do I include? Which tasks do I pass off? What activities do I plan for the children? And what color pen do I use to keep track of all these plans????

I had to stop and laugh at myself for a minute. Am I really getting this excited over the planning of one day? Yes. Yes, I am. But really, it’s more than just the day. I am so thankful for all of the reasons I GET to plan this day.

I have a husband and children who love me. I have a family who loves me. I have friends traveling from far, far away because they love me. I have friends nearby who want to spend the day with us because of their love. I have a house with a roof and walls and two ovens to cook food for all of us. I have food to cook because my husband and I  both work very hard at our jobs – jobs that pay us to do things we are good at and love to do. I have clothes to wear. I have both air conditioning and a heater, and because we live in Houston, we may use both of them on the same day.

I have the freedom to gather all these people in my home and feed them delicious food because so many brave men and women fought for that freedom. I have health. I have time. I have energy.

I recently took a turn for the better in my thought process. I came to some conclusions and saw some lies for what they were. I accepted some truths and made peace with some longings that will never be. I exhaled. I exhaled a stale and painful breath I had been holding for so many years, and when I did, I was able to inhale gratitude. I realized that I’m going to be okay with whatever the road looks like ahead of me. I may not like it but I’ll be okay. You see, God is bigger than the lies of my past. He’s bigger than the burdens I carried for so long. He is stronger than the biggest stronghold of my life. He’s higher than the pain, and he is more vibrant than the joys. He’s everything. And I am thankful.

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