As we enter the season of lent I always ponder what it is that God might want me to learn, absorb, and take in. Sometimes I give something up as a reminder of the sacrifice Jesus made for me and sometimes I add a practice of sorts. All of this is with the intent of thinking more about Christ. It’s to keep my focus a little less on me and a little more on him.
I heard this song this morning and it resonated in my heart with such a resounding brokeness that I was reduced to tears over my coffee. Brokeness seems to be an ongoing theme in my life lately and one that God keeps bring back….as much as I’d like him to just let it go.
God isn’t interested in my polished self. He doesn’t care how good I look to the world. He doesn’t care about what committees I serve or how many times my name is listed in a program or bulletin. No matter how hard I work on what “Public Tamara” should look and sound like, I continue to have reminders thrown in my face that Public Tamara and Private Tamara are really the same girl. The same messy, flawed, conflicted Tamara. I’m broken and that’s what he wants. Jesus wants my brokeness. He wants my flaws, my defects, good intentions, bad intentions…all of me. He’s asking me to lay it down at his feet. He’s willing to take my ashes and make something truly beautiful. He’s the only one who can take my story and make it a masterpiece.
So, while I will still be giving up a few things during lent, I’m also choosing this song by The Afters as my Lenten theme song (I just made that a real thing) because I want to keep singing a broken hallelujah.