It’s Monday. I have a mug of warm coffee, my fluffy robe, a quilt, and my laptop. Fall made a lovely debut this morning in Houston but I don’t trust her to stay very long. Fall is sneaky that way. I am snuggled in though and I’m not moving until I knock out this post.
I missed a day yesterday. Today is Day 19 of the Write 31 Days challenge and I missed my second post of the commitment yesterday. The first time I missed a post I beat myself up. Today I’m offering myself far more grace. Writing for 31 days straight is a lot. I’m so glad I’m doing it because it’s growing my passion and my skill but it is exhausting. Totally exhausting. It’s a lot to put my heart and my thoughts out there every day. I’m kind of over myself so I know you must be as well….assuming you are still reading.
I get emails from Jon Acuff. Not because we’re friends. I get emails from him because I signed up to get emails from him. Apparently I had a shortage of emails one day and decided I needed to ask people to send me more. It’s why I also get emails from Michael Hyatt, Chalene Johnson, and Lysa TerKeurst. Seriously though, these are people who inspire me, encourage me, and push me forward to follow my dreams and do the things God has gifted me for doing.
This morning my email from Jon (I’ll call him that like we are friends) said all the things I’ve been thinking lately. He voiced the exact things I have wrestled in my head every single day since I started this challenge.
“And last, but not least, is the fear of ‘who cares?’ As in ‘who cares’ what I think or what I know. Who am I to write a book about life? I’m only 40 and what do I really know about life. I’m really unqualified. Everything I’ve written has already been said by someone smarter. I need to address that issue with the content inside the book. I also don’t want to write a book that I look back on 10 years from now and disagree with.”
(Read more at Acuff.me: Writers are crazy. Here’s proof I am. http://acuff.me/2015/10/writers-are-crazy-heres-proof-i-am/)
So I’m not yet 40 (almost) and I’m writing a blog, not a book, but these are my thoughts. These are my fears. Who the heck is going to care? Why am I even bothering? But here’s the thing….Mr. Potato Head. Yesterday I stood in a room full of kids. I stood before them and talked to them about Paul and Timothy reaching out to the Corinthians to offer encouragement. I told them about how Paul taught what it means to be the Body of Christ. I asked a sweet little girl to be my assistant and we worked to put Mr. Potato Head together. We talked about how silly Mr. Potato Head looks when you put his arms in the leg holes. We laughed at the silliness of a nose trying to fit into an ear hole or eyes being placed in the place where lips belong. I told the kids, very passionately, that God has given each and every one of them special and unique gifts and talents. He has made some of them fast runners, others high jumpers. Some of them are super stars and math and others are science whiz kids. I told them to never be afraid to be the best version of who God created them to be because when we all use our gifts together we make the world a better place and reflect the love and light of God.
(photo courtesy of Hasbro.com)
I meant it. I meant the things I said to them. I believe it to be true.
So why do I keep trying to put my arms in the leg holes and compare my nose to my ears? Why do I act like God gifted all the people with all the things and left me high and dry with no skills?
I could do all sorts of research into past therapy sessions and pull out old notes and make some sense of why I act like a crazy Mr. Potato Head most days. That would be a lot though and I’m really trying to no longer dwell in my past. No, instead I am challenging myself to kinder self-talk. I am striving to speak words of life to myself. I am going to be working hard to take my thoughts captive and think about whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable…I will think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)
I’m not expecting fast results. I imagine my results will be similar to when I give up carbs and expect to drop 40 pounds in the first day. It never works that fast. I do feel better though, manage my A1C levels, and have less mood swings when I follow a lower carb, less processed food diet. I have a sneaky suspicion that capturing my negative thoughts will also result in a few positive changes in multiple areas of life.
So have a happy Monday, my friends.Watch your carbs, watch your words, manage your thoughts. and be the best you God created you to be.