Taking a Stand

It seems a lot of people have been taking some very hard stands for or against some issues lately. I know this because it’ all over Facebook – the memes, the photo shopped images, the declarations made in ALL CAPS!!!!! with lots of punctuation…. I guess social media is the place to let everyone know what you’re for or against and I’m behind on the game. I figured I better type up a quick list, just in case someone was wondering where I stand in life.

I’ll start with what I’m for. It’s a much simpler list.

• I’m for Jesus. I love him.
• I’m for the Bible. I believe all the words in it are God-inspired. The hard words and the easy words – all truth.
• I’m for family. I have a great one, not a perfect one, but a great one.
• I’m for good food with good friends. Fellowship around the table rocks.
• I’m for loving people right where they are. I don’t always do it well but I definitely support it.
• I’m also for speaking truth. In general, I think honesty is always the best policy.

I’m against a few things. So in the interest of fairness and keeping up with the internet, here’s the list of things I’m not for:

• I’m against margaritas made with wine. They are almost always a bad idea.
• I do not support instant mashed potatoes. Just message me for help with the real thing.
• I can not take chipped toenail polish on my own feet. Let yours chip away. I can’t take it on my own. Y’all, I just can’t even.
• I’m against someone sitting next to me chewing a banana. You think you’re being quiet but I hear it. I. Will. Lose. It.
• I can not support socks with Birkenstocks. Listen, I know we all did it in the 90’s but let’s not go back there. I wasn’t right then and it’s not right now.
• GMO’s
• Fireworks the day after the 4th or the day after New Year. Stop it.
• I  can’t watch any movie with Brendan Fraser. I try but I can’t. I’m sure he’s lovely in real life.
• I can’t stand to touch microfiber towels. I understand they are magic but they make my skin crawl.

Okay. I think that about sums up where I stand on all the important issues plaguing American these days. Thanks for putting up with my rant. I’m just glad I could finally speak my mind.