A Handful of Grapes

I bought grapes from the grocery store this week that were quite possibly the largest grapes I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life. Yes, I tend to lean towards exaggeration but this is true. They were gigantic. It was in one of those last minute trips to the store because I had nothing to pack in lunches the next day that I saw them. I’m the lady who preaches meal planning and shopping in advance and yet there I was, racing through the produce department like a mad woman before car pool line.

I wrote earlier this week about the wake up call fall. I’m not sure how it happened but life got too big and too full really fast. We’ve had decisions to make that are life changing and changes in life that are out of our control. We’ve been paddling like ducks for so long now, smooth as silk above the water but fast as hell beneath. We’ve been trying so hard to keep the waters calm but it’s exhausting. We’ve been filling all the minutes of all the days with so much busy to keep our hearts distracted and our minds from landing in one place for too long.  I’m sure that as I was laid out on the floor Tuesday God was saying, “Slow yourself, Child.”

I stood up and ran to the grocery store.

I’ve been thinking about those grapes all week. They were juicy and sweet and a perfect side dish to our packed lunches. I was amazed at how so few it took to fill my hands. Kind of like life right now. My life is full of good things. So many good things. But even if things are good I can’t hold on to them all. Grapes drop and get wasted.

I missed a day yesterday on my writing challenge. I actually cried about it this afternoon. That’s when I knew I’ve been trying to hold too many good things. Writing is so important to me at this point in my life. I want it to be a daily thing, an every day occurrence. I would love to have writing and speaking to come to the forefront of my career. I don’t know if that’s in God’s plan or not but I felt so called to participate in this challenge that I jumped at it faster than I’ve jumped at anything in a really long while. My day was filled with all good things yesterday…really big grapes. But I dropped a handful of things that I would have told you are priorities.

“Slow yourself, Child.”

The words keep ringing in my ears.

I know that pruning is painful. When you prune a bush that is growing out of control you must sometimes cut off beautiful flowers and branches that seem strong and healthy. Lack of pruning can lead to crazy, unsightly hedges. I feel like I’m on the verge of unsightly.

So now I have to go to God and ask some hard questions. I have to ask which grapes to keep and which ones to put aside. And I have to listen. The listening is the hardest part. But I don’t want any grapes to be wasted. I don’t want to waste blessings. He’s given me so much and he continues to give and give and give. It’s so tempting to take it all for myself and hold it all tightly and not share the bounty with others but that’s not what God is calling me to do. I have to hand some blessing over.